Allowing Your College Kid to Make Mistakes and Learn from Them
SaveThe article highlights the importance of allowing college students to make mistakes, as this helps them build independence, resilience, and self-awareness. While challenging for parents, stepping back fosters essential life skills and confidence in young adults.
By Kaley White
It's widely accepted that college marks a critical life transition point for teens entering young adulthood-the new independence and learning to navigate the challenges of college life transition teens into young adults. For parents, it can be difficult to let go and allow their children to make mistakes and learn from them. It's crucial, however, to let go and help your child develop important skills while becoming more independent and resilient.
Allowing your child to make mistakes builds up their independence and self-reliance. In college, students will face many decisions daily, from choosing classes and managing their schedules to budgeting their finances and navigating tricky social situations. Making mistakes and not immediately rushing in to "fix" problems will help your child learn to trust their decision-making abilities. Long term, building this trust encourages them to take control of their lives and have the confidence to make decisions that are in their best interest.
Making mistakes is a normal aspect of any person's life. Parents want to shield their children from failure and disappointment, of course, but these experiences help teach valuable lessons and build important life skills. Stepping back and allowing your child to experience failure helps them to grow and develop socially and emotionally while learning how to move through future challenges.
Making mistakes and learning from them can also help to develop a strong sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. When teens face challenges and setbacks, they are forced to reflect, identify areas for improvement, and make the necessary changes to their behaviors. This introspection — going through the process of self-reflection and self-correction — is an important skill that will serve your teen well in all areas of their lives, especially personally and professionally.
Making and learning from mistakes also helps to build confidence and self-esteem. When your teen knows they can overcome challenges and bounce back from failures, a sense of resilience and belief in their decision-making abilities is instilled. This belief will not only have a positive impact on your teen's overall well-being and mental health, but it will also help them learn to trust in themselves and their ability to overcome obstacles.
Allowing your teen to make mistakes, however, doesn't mean abandoning them or leaving them to fend for themselves in a time of need. At this stage in life, parents can provide guidance, support, and encouragement to navigate the challenges of college life. Most importantly, you can hold space for your teen to reflect on their mistakes, identify the lessons, and brainstorm strategies to avoid similar situations later.
Remember: mistakes are an essential part of the learning process and life. We wouldn't expect a kid to learn to ride a bike without falling off a few times. Similarly, we can't expect college freshmen to seamlessly navigate the complexities of adult life without making some poor decisions along the way. Allowing for mistakes, within reason, gives your child the opportunity to learn necessary lessons, develop important life skills, and grow into their competence as independent people.
The importance of allowing your teen to make mistakes and learn from them cannot be overstated. Building independence, self-reliance, resilience, self-awareness, and confidence, prepares your child for success in daily life among their social and professional circles. For parents, it might be difficult to witness the struggle. And, these experiences are what encourage true learning and growth that will carry your child beyond graduation. So, let go a bit! Trust that you've provided a strong foundation where they can bounce back in the face of adversity. Doing so will grant your child the ultimate gift of resilience, self-awareness, and independence that serves them well in all aspects of their lives.
Kaley White
Kaley earned her M.S.Ed with distinction from the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education. As Director of Special Programs, Kaley manages the day-to-day operations of the SAGE Scholars Newsroom. Alongside a team of writers, she generates timely resources to help bridge the gap for students transitioning from high school to college. She currently resides in Philadelphia.Articles & Advice
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