Move-in day is behind you. The car is unpacked, the dorm room is decorated, and you've said your goodbyes in the parking lot, maybe with more composure than you actually felt. Now comes the part nobody quite prepares you for: the first phone call.
It might come the next morning. Your student sounds tired, overwhelmed, or homesick in a way that catches you off guard. It usually just means they're adjusting to a new place, a new routine, and a lot of change happening all at once. Here's what tends to help during that first week.
Listen before you try to fix it
When your student calls with a problem, the instinct to solve it immediately is a strong one. Try to resist it, at least at first. Ask what happened, how they're feeling, and what they think might help.
Sometimes what a student needs isn't a solution. It's a familiar voice and a chance to talk through the day out loud. Giving them room to just say what's going on, without immediately steering toward a fix, often helps them land on their own next step.
One rough day is not the whole semester
Move-in week is a lot. New roommate, new schedule, new campus, more unstructured time than they're used to, and a hundred small social interactions with people they've never met.
One awkward meal, one lonely evening, one homesick phone call does not define what the semester is going to be like. It helps to remind your student, gently, that these first few days are not the full college experience. Encourage them to give it real time before drawing any conclusions.
Encourage one small next step, not a whole plan
Your student does not need to have everything figured out by day three. A single small step is usually enough to make an unfamiliar place start to feel a little less unfamiliar.
Suggest something small and specific:
- Go to one welcome event, even if it feels awkward
- Introduce themselves to someone on their floor
- Grab a meal with a roommate or a classmate
- Walk their actual class schedule before the first day of classes
- Ask an RA or staff member one question, just to know how
One small conversation or activity tends to do more for how settled a student feels than any amount of advice from home.
Let them solve the small problems themselves
College is full of small, manageable problems: a scheduling question, a roommate mix-up, a question about meal plans. These are genuinely good practice for a student learning to advocate for themselves.
You can help your student think through who to contact or what to ask, without stepping in to solve it for them. Each small problem they work through on their own builds real confidence for the next one.
Set expectations around communication now
Some students call home every day that first week. Others go quiet and don't check in for days at a time. Both are normal.
It helps to talk about this before your student leaves, if you haven't already. A standing weekly call gives you a reliable touchpoint without requiring your student to check in constantly, which can get in the way of them actually settling into campus life.
If your student goes quiet: try not to read too much into a day or two of silence. A short, low-pressure text (something like "thinking of you, no need to respond, call me when you get a chance") tends to land better than repeated calls, which can feel like pressure during an already overwhelming week.
Protect the basics
A long move-in day, a bad night's sleep on an unfamiliar mattress, and a schedule packed with orientation activities make everything feel bigger than it actually is. Remind your student to eat something that isn't vending machine food, drink water, and actually show up to the events they signed up for. None of it sounds like much. All of it changes how the whole week feels.
Know when it's more than adjustment
Homesickness and nervousness in week one are common and expected. But if your student seems to be struggling consistently, not just a rough day here and there, or says they feel unsafe, or mentions something that sounds like a real health or wellness concern, encourage them to reach out to a resident advisor, campus counseling center, or another staff member directly.
Students are not meant to figure out a big transition entirely alone, and neither are you. Nearly every campus has people whose job is exactly this.
You're adjusting too
Adjustment isn't something that happens in a single day, for your student or for you. It happens through the first class, the first shared meal, the first friendship, the first moment campus starts to feel familiar instead of foreign.
Your patience during this stretch matters more than you might realize. A calm, steady presence on the other end of the phone gives your student room to find their footing, at their own pace, without feeling like they have to prove they're okay before they actually are.
