My Roommate May Actually Be Kinda Cool

It's almost inevitable you have a roommate at some point in college. In most cases, college dorms have two students in a room unless they are lucky enough not to have one or the school offers single-bedroom fixtures. Student apartments usually start at two bedrooms, with a maximum of four or five bedrooms. If college apartments offer single bedrooms, prepare to pay a considerable sum. I want to implore you to give your roommate a chance; here’s why.

By Kameron Sims — October 3, 2022

Tags: college life, dorm living, general info, roommates

After your first year of college as a freshman, having a roommate may seem like more of a bother than it should be. Issues may seem endless-ranging from little to no privacy many interruptions, including parties, loud music, late-night friend gatherings, and extra maintenance on your safety.

Out of my years in college, I spent three years without a roommate. For most of my undergrad, I stayed on campus and had roommates. My sophomore and senior year were the only years I did not have roommates during my undergrad. I spent my sophomore year in a double-occupancy room.

I had a roommate for about a month before he did a room swap to get into a different dorm. No one ever came to occupy the bed, so I was allowed to have the entire room to myself. Senior year, I moved into a four-bedroom college apartment with some former classmates. One left to return home for personal reasons, another went on to a better job opportunity, and the other moved into another apartment with his partner. I had not received roommates to replace the three that had left until a year later before graduating from undergrad.

Now in grad school, I recently got a new roommate after not having one for about a year. Before starting grad school, I moved to a three-bedroom apartment. The roommate that I had left shortly after our move-in. In each of these instances, I shared a common residence space. I also learned a few things about people we may not always realize. Often, we get caught up in defensive and biased behavior before attempting to resolve complications empathetically.

Your Roommate Wants Somewhere Safe to Stay

We can get so caught up in our prejudices and biases about people that we often do not give them a chance. However, your roommate is usually in the same situation you are. You both need to fulfill responsibilities that you may not even be aware of.

As well, make your shared space a safe one. A safe space ensures that you are also safe in this space. Ideally, both roommates have the comfort of relaxing around one another, so moving about the space is not intrusive. Setting aside biases limits tensions arising from sharing space with a new individual. Dorms and colleges do routine changes in bedroom assignments. You will meet many different people often.

Your Roommate Wants to Be Treated Well

Think about how you want others to treat you. In most instances, your roommate wants to feel that same way. If you were in space for someone who came in as a stranger, you would not want them to arrive with demands, bullying, or taking over your space and possessions. Be courteous. Be kind. Offer hospitality. Find common interests. These four actions limit the possibility of conflict. In all cases, these principles are things we wish to attain from others. Also, be understanding of your roommate. They may not try to make intentional mistakes or bother you. Instead, it may be quite the opposite. They may be trying so hard not to be a bother that their efforts overcompensate and make things awkward.

Everyone Has to Start Somewhere

You know yourself and your reality best, no matter what your story, background, current situation, experience, future anticipations, or desires are in life. Everyone comes from a situation that we cannot understand. Only we can discuss our experiences with true validity, but this applies in reverse too. We do not know our roommate's perspectives. No one ought to pass judgment or make commentary. We need somewhere to offer us the stability to keep being able to build our foundation.

You Never Know

You may have a future doctor, athlete, lawyer, or leader as a roommate. Your presence may mean much more to them than you may know. You may also have someone who could be a criminal in your presence. Nevertheless, you would want the most comfortable and safe space for you both to reside with minimal complications.

You may also be the difference maker for whatever they are passionate about or do well. You could be a personal confidant to aid and support a dream. You could have a lifelong friend or reference for future job opportunities. The possibilities could be endless for how you elevate one another. When you are together, you make a significant impact on them for some time, whether it is recognizable or not.

In short, you could have a cool roommate living with you. Don't let your prejudices and biases prevent you from widening the possibilities you and your roommate(s) can have. Roommates only want the same courteousness and respect that you want. Giving it respectively rather than conditionally accrues much more positive energy than being aggressive and oppositional. Just like mine, your roommate may actually be kinda cool when approached in this manner.

Kameron Sims

Kameron Sims is a freelance writer for SAGE Scholars, Inc. He is currently a Master's student, studying psychology. Sims has a passion for learning. He enjoys being a vessel to collect knowledge and information, hoping to share the contents of this vessel to others.

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