Parental Support Incoming Freshmen Need
SaveResearch has found that autonomy-supportive parents enable students to transition more successfully during their first college year.
While college staff encourage parents to take a more hands-off approach when their children become freshman, they also know their students benefit from the right kind of parental support. Research has found that autonomy-supportive parents enable students to transition more successfully during their first college year, said Dr. Laurie Hazard, a psychology professor and co-author of the book, Your Freshman is Off to College: A Month-by-Month Guide to the First Year.
An autonomy-supportive parent takes on the role of coach, explained her co-author, Stephanie Carter, during a College Parent Central podcast. This means if a child is upset about failing a test, for example, it is best that a parent doesn't figure out how to fix this problem for their child, or tell their child to simply figure out the problem by themselves. Instead, the parent listens to their child's particular concerns, and together they locate which office(s) on campus can take care of the concerns. The freshman is responsible for contacting the office and scheduling any appointments.
Parents can be assured that students are supported on campus by experts in social, emotional, and cognitive development. Yet parents can assist the experts. To illustrate, schools send alerts when a student is failing in the classroom. This is a clear indicator that a student needs more support. However, college life is not only about academics. A parent needed to contact Hazard about how to support her child who was getting all A's, but not making friends and eating alone in the dining hall.
After this call, Hazard was able to take over. She met with the student and learned about his hobbies and goals. They discussed the various clubs on campus that could be a good match, and upperclassmen from these clubs contacted the student. Soon the student was sharing meals with classmates who shared his interests.
For a timeline, the National Orientation Directors Association (NODA) guide, Navigating the First College Year: A Guide for Parents and Families, says the transition to college officially begins when a child accepts a school's offer of admission. Parents are freed from their concerns about where their child will go to school, and now can practice the skills their child will need for a more independent lifestyle.
Like marriage, the NODA guide says finances cause the most problems between children and their parents during the first college year. This can be prevented by teaching their child how to stretch funds by budgeting each month for such things as school supplies, transportation, clothes, and entertainment. A child may also need to know how to use bank accounts, and the pros and cons of credit cards. If a family's ability to pay for college expenses changes, they can contact the financial aid office and request their student's financial aid package be re-evaluated. Appeals have resulted in more generous financial aid packages.
A communication schedule during the academic year also needs to be discussed and agreed upon by both the child and parents. Each family discussion will be unique on how to stay in touch while giving the freshman the space to make new connections. For examples, family members may discuss contacting each other once or twice a week, and whether this communication will be by phone, text, or email. A commuting student may need extra encouragement from their parents to keep in touch with new connections on campus.
Hazard and Carter suggested practicing over the summer the skills that had required parental reinforcement during high school. For example, your child may need more practice getting themselves out of bed each morning and organizing their daily schedule. To succeed academically, a college student needs to know how to manage their daily schedule, so they have enough time to attend classes, complete homework, and unwind. If a child benefited from professional counseling or academic accommodations during high school, arrange for these college services in advance. There are also daily maintenance skills your child has been kept blissfully unaware of and will appreciate knowing how to do next year. Teach them how to operate a vacuum cleaner, washing machine, and shop for groceries.
Lastly, attending the college's parent orientation is highly recommended. Review and take notes on the materials the school mails about the academic calendar, school policies, and various offices that support students and their families. Marti Kwon, Director of College Counseling at Jack M. Barak Hebrew Academy, encourages parents to contact the schools with specific questions they have about move-in day, insurance coverage, tuition bills, or any other concerns. She emailed, "The institutions are solidly invested in seeing the incoming class thrive from day one, and that starts with a successful and supportive transition."
Likewise, encourage your child to attend the student orientation; and if provided, a pre-orientation program, which enables students to connect in a more intimate setting. Advise them to get involved in the school's clubs and other extracurricular activities during the academic year. Carol Jacobs, former Director of College Counseling at Jack M. Barak Hebrew Academy, recommended that new students try activities they think are "really cool," but never had the chance, or nerve, to do. These structured activities help freshmen adjust to campus life, and could spark lasting friendships.
Lynne Blumberg
Lynne Blumberg has worked as an educator and academic advisor. She enjoys sharing insider tips with students and their families, so they are unintimidated by college policies and procedures.Articles & Advice
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